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After decades of trying, those brave souls who have been carrying on the fight for sweeping changes in the American legal system still have their foot on first base sprosne galerie. Lawyers (hereinafter collectively referred to as “Legalman”) and consumer-rights advocates go berserk on cue whenever the subject of legal reform is so much as mentioned sprosne galerie. The argument is that if legislation is passed that would reduce litigation, there would be no one to protect “the poor,” the injured, and those who claim to have been discriminated against (to name but a handful of today’s victims) sprosne galerie. It’s enough to make a battle-scarred survivor of the legal system roll his eyes sprosne galerie. Legalman harbors about the same amount of compassion toward the purported victims he represents as did Ivan the Terrible toward his victims sprosne galerie. John Edwards was the poster Boy Scout for the personal-injury sharks during the last presidential campaign, but somehow his $6 million townhouse in Georgetown made his rhetoric less than convincing sprosne galerie. I don’t want to be accused of exaggeration, so I feel morally obliged to admit that Boy Scout Edwards has listed his Georgetown house for only $5,950,000 sprosne galerie. Of course, this is still small potatoes compared to John and Teresa Kerry’s five homes, said to be valued at $33 million sprosne galerie. If the Kerrys would adopt a motto such as “Help the poor by not becoming one of them,” they’d have my support sprosne galerie. But since that’s not going to happen, I’m inclined to back Martha Stewart or Ronald McDonald in the next election sprosne galerie. Er sprosne galerie. sprosne galerie. sprosne galerie. back to Legalman, who preys on the pathetic concept of victimization sprosne galerie. More specifically, he preys on a society fraught with crybabies, whiners, and complainers sprosne galerie. Make no mistake about it, there are legitimate cases of people who have suffered serious injury as a result of someone else’s negligence sprosne galerie. The problem is, they represent but a small fraction of the total number of personal-injury lawsuits filed in this country each year sprosne galerie. By now, everyone has read about the endless stream of daffy civil suits and awards that have played a major role in transforming the U sprosne galerie. S sprosne galerie. into an economic time bomb sprosne galerie. Based on anything from an insult to the loss of a job, lawsuits long ago become a national pastime, catapulting many of Legalman’s ranks into centimillionaires — and a handful into billionaires sprosne galerie. What we have here, folks, is what is commonly referred to in finer circles as a fix sprosne galerie. Legalman not only argues the law in court, he also makes the law and decides where and how it should be applied sprosne galerie. Lawyers are lawyers, judges are lawyers, and well over half of all U sprosne galerie. S sprosne galerie. congressmen are lawyers sprosne galerie. Bolstered by an incestuous partnership between government and the legal profession, Legalman has a license to tell blatant lies (both in legal briefs and in the courtroom), make totally unfounded accusations at the drop of a tongue, and dispense knowingly false information without fear of fine or punishment sprosne galerie. If a civilian witness were to say under oath some of the things that are standard fare for Legalman, he would quickly find himself indicted for perjury sprosne galerie. You might assume that, in an effort to stop Legalman from stirring up frivolous litigation, I would be in favor of reversing the landmark 1977 legislative decision that gave him the legal right to advertise his services like a used-car salesman sprosne galerie. Not so sprosne galerie. I believe in every individual’s right to freely solicit business in the marketplace, no matter how repugnant his methods may be sprosne galerie. No, the solution is not to deprive Legalman of his First Amendment rights sprosne galerie. The way to curtail Legalman’s mischievous ways is to make him accountable for his actions, the same as us common folks sprosne galerie. In real terms, what this means is:First, Legalman should be held civilly and criminally liable for what he says and does, both in and outside of the courtroom sprosne galerie. A parade of lawyers on trial for perjury would do wonders for cleansing one of America’s costliest industries — litigation — by forcing Legalman to play by the rules sprosne galerie. Second, a tough “loser-pays” law should be implemented to help curb frivolous lawsuits sprosne galerie. To give it meaningful impact, Legalman should be required to pay a percentage of the other side’s litigation costs if he ends up on the losing end of a lawsuit sprosne galerie. Third, if Legalman’s losing case is deemed to be frivolous, the system should make it easier for the winner to sue him for his irresponsible actions sprosne galerie. A few multi-million-dollar awards against Legalman would make him think twice about initiating so many “why-not-throw-something-against-the-wall-and-see-if-it-sticks” lawsuits sprosne galerie. Litigation is a major factor in the continuing demise of the economic infrastructure of the U sprosne galerie. S sprosne galerie. The state of California alone has at least 10 times the number of attorneys as all of Japan sprosne galerie. Increasing numbers of people simply don’t want to work sprosne galerie. They’re all too busy playing the lottery and filing lawsuits sprosne galerie. Every year, Legalman institutes more than 20 million new lawsuits, with litigation costs in the hundreds of billions of dollars annually sprosne galerie. Close to $200 billion a year is spent on litigation insurance alone sprosne galerie. Is there a long-term solution to this crippling epidemic? I believe so sprosne galerie. I have long advocated that private industry, which has the most to gain, should fund a Legalman Rehabilitation Labor Camp (LRLC) sprosne galerie. Every personal-injury attorney in the United States would be placed in the LRLC, where he would be sprayed daily with industrial-strength Legalman Disinfection Spray, rehabilitated, and, most important, given training that would arm him with the skills necessary to provide a legitimate product or service in the marketplace sprosne galerie. The detention period could be for as little as one year, but in no event would Legalman be allowed to walk the streets of America again until such time as he had convinced an impartial private-industry panel that his parasitic tendencies were cured and that he was capable of becoming an honest, productive citizen sprosne galerie. Legalman would then remain on parole for a period of five years, or until such time as he had demonstrated beyond reasonable doubt that his rehabilitation was permanent, whichever occurred later sprosne galerie. During the parole period, proof of association with any party suspected of being involved in frivolous litigation, or association with any other kind of known parasite, would trigger an automatic reincarceration sprosne galerie. (Note: That’s reincarceration, not reincarnation — which is the last thing in the world we want to see happen to Legalman sprosne galerie. )I hope nothing I have said here will lead readers to believe that I have an axe to grind with lawyers in general sprosne galerie. On the contrary, I believe Legalman has been getting a bum rap ever since the late Chief Justice Warren E sprosne galerie. Burger opined that lawyers generally overcharge their clients and that law schools and bar associations neglect professional ethics sprosne galerie. Sign up for Robert Ringer’s FREE wisdom-filled e-letter, A Voice of Sanity in an Insane World sprosne galerie. Visit www sprosne galerie. robertringer sprosne galerie. com sprosne galerie. Ringer is the author of three #1 bestsellers, including two books listed by The New York Times among the 15 bestselling motivational books of all time sprosne galerie. Copyright © 2006 by Robert J sprosne galerie. Ringer sprosne galerie. Reprinted by permission of the author sprosne galerie.


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